(Update: Added the video.)
Hi readers, today I'm reviewing a popular show on TLC. Since it means The Learning Channel, it's educational, right? WRONG! So, normally this would be called "Blind Bashing", but I'm doing the honorable way, checking out videos from it from the official website! (Rest not appropriate for younger children, so I hid it behind the jump. But, this'll work like the "Parental advisory" labels, and tempt kids to check out what parents don't want them to see. So, if you want to have me talking about little kids dressing like *ahem* background dancers in a rap music video, then feel free to check it out.)
From the summary, it's about parents forcing their kids to wear too-much-skin costumes for pageants that would make Miley Cyrus blush. (This article is now rated PG-13. We apologize for the inconvenience.We also apologize profusely for pulling a "Too soon" joke.) Sing it with me guys! "Money makes the world go around, the world go around, the world go around..." So, before I check out my episode to review, I'm going to check out what other titles there are to snark on. Let's see here... A show about pack-rats... A show where people get paid to act like they have an addiction (sometimes including the rare chance of an idiot deciding to "raise awareness" of their crowd) (Even though we warned them not to go on, they never listen. Has the HUNDREDS of bad publicity helped at ALL?)... Kate (with an ego so big, she has a topic ALL OF HER OWN!)... And more "reality" shows. Okay, that addiction show seems like a great idea to snark on later. Heck, I could be on that show. Except I won't, because I'm wise enough not to blow my 15 minutes of fame on the fact that I have the urge to chew on random objects sometimes. (What a wonderful way to get viewers, blurt out embarrassing secrets casually!) In fact, I made a pledge to avoid representing a group on TV. Like reality TV, they'd cut my dialog up to attract more viewers. I have- You've already heard that, so I'll just summarize it for you. "Media uses stereotypes to focus on lazy people, I have tourettes, and I'm as clean as a whistle, except for a couple boulderized words." So, on with the review. I looked at the videos, and there was a video titled "outrageous outfits". It had a PRESCHOOLER wearing "I can't believe it's not madonna!" gold satin excuse-for-a-dress complete with cone-#######s! Agh! My eyes are on fire! I'm definitely going straight to h- New Jersey for this! This video may be illegal in some areas. So, watch at your own risk. My personal "Can someone call Child Services?" favorite is the "Nothing but undies and a sports bra" party-baby.
The "Train-wreck" factor: 9.9 out of 10
The wholesome factor: Is it possible to enter negative numbers?
The snark factor: 10 out of 10 (If I'm able to stoop as low as SNARKING ON SUGGESTIVE DRESSES ON LITTLE GIRLS.)
Mooble's rating: 2.5 out of 10. "Yet another lousy reality show TLC came up with in 5 minutes. Only useful for snarking on/ watching it as a train wreck."
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